What is Spiritual Direction?
Most simply put, it is a time set aside for you to meet with a trained spiritual companion, with no judgement or agenda other than opening together to notice the movement of the Divine in your life. It’s kind of like having a guide for your soul, as you cultivate a life attuned to spirituality.
Why would I begin spiritual direction? Is this like going to therapy?
Engaging in Spiritual Direction can catalyze a time of growth, provide solace in a time of wandering, deepen your relationship with God/the Divine, and/or help you discover your True Self.
One way to explain the purpose of spiritual direction is that it fosters “soul discovery,” in other words, coming to know and live into your true self more and more, and experiencing freedom to be fully you. This is an ongoing process for everyone always.
As we deal with the stuff of life – managing and figuring life out – we have the opportunity to know ourselves. The more we know ourselves, the more we know God/Divine, and connect with Spirit in our lives – and thus the more authentic we can live out in the world. During spiritual direction we become mindful of this, and this process naturally happens as we engage with our lives and how the Divine is working in our lives.
Spiritual directors are not (typically) trained psychotherapists. So, in the course of spiritual direction work, where your needs will be met best by a therapist, a suggestion or referral may be made. Psychotherapy can be simultaneous to spiritual direction work, as well.
The difference is that professional counseling or psychotherapy involves working through a particular problem, analyzing issues, and learning coping and problem-solving techniques to work toward healing, while spiritual direction may touch on some of the same life problems or relationships, but with the ultimate goal of spiritual growth and discernment.
Everyone could use a good therapist and a good spiritual director, just like they need a good doctor and a good dentist!
Do I need to be religious, or believe a certain way? Will the spiritual director judge or try to change me?
No! A good spiritual director seeks only to help you be fully you. You can find spiritual directors who come from varying backgrounds, and ones who are open to directees (clients) of all or no faith backgrounds and beliefs. You only need to have a desire for and an openness to the spiritual direction process. Of course each director has their own story, style and personality, so it’s important to find one who is a good fit for you, even if it takes a few tries.
What happens in a session?
This varies with each individual spiritual director and directee. However some basics might look like this:
Lighting a candle to represent the presence of God/Spirit in the session.
Having a time of silence, prayer, contemplative practice, or breathing – to center ourselves, become fully present, and be open to the Spirit.
Sharing, listening and noticing. During the session you may share your cares and desires. If you don’t have anything specific you’d like to talk about, that’s okay too. The director may guide the time by asking a question or two, or even allowing for some silence or prompt a contemplative exercise. The director may take notes just to help prepare for the sessions and to pray for you. The director may make suggestions to you about practices or assignments which might facilitate your spiritual growth, but typically will not tell you what to think or offer specific advice about what to do. The time is about you noticing together the movement of the Spirit in your life.
Anything else I should know about spiritual direction?
With any good, trained spiritual director your sessions will be completely confidential. The only exception to keeping complete confidentiality would be in the case of needing to receive outside help to keep you safe. Your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual safety are of utmost importance. Make sure you have this agreement with your spiritual director.
Many good, trained spiritual directors will continue having a supervisor even after their training is officially over. This means they may meet with a supervisor to discuss their practice, stay relevant, and accountable. They may occasionally use your sessions in supervision, if you sign a release giving permission for them to do so. They would/should not use your name and would/should change any identifying details, maintaining your full confidentiality. Supervision is about the director, not directees (clients). Ask your spiritual director about this, and make an agreement accordingly.
Costs for the sessions vary. Spiritual directors typically charge by the hour or session as a therapist or life coach would. Prices vary greatly, though you likely can find a spiritual director within the $50-$100 range per session, and some have sliding scales available, based on need. Sessions typically last about an hour. And the typical frequency of sessions is monthly or bi-monthly.
Continuing in spiritual direction with a director should always be up to you, the directee. If at any point you feel unsafe, coerced, or even just feel that you are not connecting with your director and want to try another director, do not hesitate to let your director know and to move along.
Where can I find a spiritual director?
Click here for information about spiritual directors recommended by Greater Love Collective.
Other ways to seek out directors:
- If you are part of a specific religious community, ask the leaders there.
- Spiritual Directors International has a directory you can search.
- In the Dallas area, Retreat House Spirituality Center has a network of spiritual directors.
- Simply do an internet search for spiritual direction in your area.